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Monday, February 27, 2012

Movie - Paper Dream

This movie looks like one worth seeing for sure. I am guessing it will make me cry though.

I remember the pain and heartache I felt when we decided to start our family.  I remember waiting month after month for a positive pregnancy test.  I can't even imagine the feelings that occur for those who wait years because waiting less than a year broke my heart.  Then after we did get pregnant, we discovered that the baby had died when I was around 13 weeks along.

Luckily I was able to conceive again after my surgery and then that pregnancy was full of worry due to some genetic testing concerns and cysts on my son's brain (they cysts went away luckily).  There was a high chance that he'd have Trisomy 13, 18 or 21.  Some of those genetic problems are incompatible with life so I prayed that my baby would be able to live.  I had to think long and hard about the chance that we could have a child with serious health concerns.  I finally came to know that I would love my child and give him the best life possible no matter what his challenges and that the Lord would help us through it.

While pregnant with my second son, everything seemed fine and then when he was born we discovered he had a hole in his heart.  Luckily the heart problems were resolved on their own over time but it was scary.

It took me a while longer to get pregnant with my last child.  My pregnancy with him was also strewn with worry and genetic concerns.  I had to go in to the doctor's office once or twice every week because I was at high risk (even though I felt perfectly fine).  My genetic testing results had been so "off" that they had told me I was at risk for stillbirth, placentia abruptia, and a plethora of other bad things.  So even though I was energetic and appeared physically well while pregnant, it was a time of emotional heartache and worry for me.

I consider it a miracle when anyone is able to have a baby.  Each birth is a gift.  And I learned that I am not in control of things but that I could trust the Lord with all my cares.

Now I realize that the heartache, worry and concerns only continue as we parent our teenagers...

1 comment:

Amy Wagner said...

The Lord commands us not to worry. "Worrying is like praying to the devil." Also, "Worry is like a rocking chair. It gives you something to do, but doesn't get you anywhere." I gently encourage you to go to God in the name of Jesus and cast your cares upon Him. God bless, and thank you for sharing your story of faith in Him.