Website - Fight the New Drug, Educating on the Harmful Effects of Pornography

I learned about this great website from a friend on Facebook.  Looks like a great one!  I am a big believer in the damage and chaos that come from pornography and have seen it destroy individuals, marriages, and families.  I applaud this group for fighting the good fight and helping people overcome the destructive affects of this "new drug."  Almost every family I know has been affected by pornography addiction in some way.  They say there is a Pornography Pandemic but people are afraid to discuss this "taboo" topic.  Let's expose this problem and fight it face on.

Here's the pledge that people can sign on their website:

"Now is the time for me to stand and help others overcome that which has affected my family, my friends and my community.  I will avoid exposure to this powerful drug called pornography.  I will be a source of strength to those who need support and accept help when I am in need.  I will be a voice of reason among the clatter of self serving opinion.  Too many have suffered.  Too many have sacrificed.  I must be open about a topic no one wants to discuss."

Click HERE to read about the harmful effect of porn.

If you are addicted to pornography or have a loved one who is struggling, there is hope.

Safeguarding Teens and Children from Pornography

Safeguarding Teens and Children from Pornography from SA Lifeline Foundation on Vimeo.

Two Great Movies to Support

Gotta love the movie theatres that are always willing to play the wholesome, less known movies just because it is the right thing to do.

There are two non-Hollywood type movies playing this weekend and I want to see both of them!

I always like to send the message to Hollywood that wholesome movies ARE popular and that they should make more. So I encourage DATE NIGHTS for everyone this weekend....

FOREVER STRONG: My friend was able to see this last week and said it is a "must see." It is about a former LDS seminary teacher turned sports coach who has helped shape the lives of hundreds of young men. It was originally given a rated-R rating by the MPAA, but they edited it to be PG-13 so that more people could see it (first in Utah, now in lots of other locations too).

FIREPROOF: This is a movie about a firefighter and his wife whose marriage is failing. The firefighter's father challenges his son to commit to a 40-day experiment: "The Love Dare." The movie deals with tough issues like divorce and pornography addiction but contains no profanity, drug use, nudity, or gratuitous violence. I applaud any movie that shows the importance of strong marriages and the dangers of porn addiction.
http://www.fireproofthemovie.com/

Blessed are the Pure in Heart

Here is a talk by President Hinckley from the New Era magazine, July 1999. I used this article in a lesson that I taught the Young Women.

Words of the Prophet: Blessed Are the Pure in Heart by President Gordon B. Hinckley

My young friends, “Be not faithless, but believing”—in virtue, in goodness, in decency, in purity, in that which the Lord has declared He would have for His children, virtue. It is old-fashioned. It may appear out-of-date. It does not square up with a lot of thinking and teaching, but it is true.
There is nothing lovelier, there is nothing sweeter, there is nothing finer, there is nothing more ennobling, there is nothing more beautiful in all the world than virtue in young men and women. God has designed that it should be so. “Be not faithless, but believing.” And in the light of that belief, and in the light of that faith, practice discipline (from Brigham Young University Speeches, Jan. 3, 1962, 5).

Blessed are the pure in heart

Youth is the seedtime for the future flowering of family life. To hope for peace and love and gladness out of promiscuity is to hope for that which will never come. To wish for freedom out of immorality is to wish for something that cannot be. Said the Savior, “Whosoever committeth sin is the servant of sin” (John 8:34).

Is there a valid case for virtue? It is the only way to freedom from regret. The peace of conscience which flows therefrom is the only personal peace that is not counterfeit.
And beyond all of this is the unfailing promise of God to those who walk in virtue. Declared Jesus of Nazareth, speaking on the mountain, “Blessed are the pure in heart: for they shall see God” (Matt. 5:8). That is a covenant, made by Him who has the power to fulfill (from Conference Report, Oct. 1970, 66).

Lure of immorality

I am going to speak plainly. We hear much these days of teenage sexual misbehavior. There is too much of it among our own youth.

Those who indulge in illegitimate sexual activity, as we define that in the doctrines and standards of this Church—and I think no one misunderstands what I mean when I say that—do irreparable damage to themselves and rob the one with whom they are involved of that which can never be restored. There is nothing clever about this kind of so-called conquest. It carries with it no laurels, no victories, no enduring satisfaction. It brings only shame, sorrow, and regret. Those who so indulge cheat themselves and rob another. In so doing, they affront their Father in Heaven, for they are children of God.

I know that this is strong language, plainly spoken. But I feel the trends of our times call for strong language and plain words (from Ensign, Nov. 1983, 45).

Let virtue be your cornerstone

In April of 1942, the First Presidency of the Church issued a message that has the tone of scripture. I commend it to you:

“To the youth of the Church … above all we plead with you to live clean, for the unclean life leads only to suffering, misery, and woe physically—and spiritually it is the path to destruction. How glorious and near to the angels is youth that is clean; this youth has joy unspeakable here and eternal happiness hereafter” (Improvement Era, 45:273).

You of marvelous promise, you young men and women of great ability, do not mock God. Do not flout his law. Let virtue be a cornerstone on which to build your lives (from Conference Report, Oct. 1964, 116).

Pornography

I would just like to say a word about pornography. It is a growing, vile, and evil thing. It is on our motion picture screens, it comes into the homes of the people on television receivers, it is on newsstands, it reaches out in other ways to entrap and beguile and destroy those who are enticed to partake of it. I am satisfied, my brethren and sisters, that no Latter-day Saint can with impunity afford to witness or read or partake of this growing evil in any way. God help us and bless us with the self-discipline to resist and abstain and flee from, if necessary, this pernicious and growing thing which would destroy us (from Ensign, Nov. 1982, 76).

Control thoughts to control actions

Mental control must be stronger than physical appetites or desires of the flesh. As thoughts are brought into complete harmony with revealed truth, actions will then become appropriate.
The timeless proverb is as true now as when it was first spoken: “For as he thinketh in his heart, so is he” (Prov. 23:7).

Each of us, with discipline and effort, has the capacity to control his thoughts and his actions. This is part of the process of developing spiritual, physical, and emotional maturity (from Ensign, May 1987, 48).

Repentance and forgiveness

If there be any here who have so sinned, there is repentance and there is forgiveness, provided there is “godly sorrow” (2 Cor. 7:10). All is not lost. Each of you has a bishop, who has been ordained and set apart under the authority of the holy priesthood and who, in the exercise of his office, is entitled to the inspiration of the Lord. He is a man of experience, he is a man of understanding, he is a man who carries in his heart a love for the youth of his ward. He is a servant of God who understands his obligation of confidentiality and who will help you with your problem. Do not be afraid to talk with him (from Ensign, Nov. 1983, 45).

Prove your strength

For your own sakes, for your happiness now and in all the years to come, and for the happiness of the generations who come after you, avoid sexual transgression as you would a plague.
Prove your strength, show your independence, by saying no when enticement from peers comes your way. Your own strength will add strength to those who are weak. Your own example will give determination to others (from Ensign, May 1987, 48).

Stay on the Lord’s side

Of course you are to socialize, to date, to have fun of a wholesome kind in a hundred ways. But there is a line which you must not cross. It is the line that separates personal cleanliness from sin. I need not get clinical in telling you where that line is. You know. You have been told again and again. You have a conscience within you. Stay on the Lord’s side of the line (from Ensign, May 1996, 48).

Pornography Addiction - LDS Wife's Perspective

This is a letter that was distributed in my old stake in California. I'm posting it to help anyone who may be in a similar situation to this sister's. I am posting her entire letter (even though it is long) because I don't think it should be edited. It has adult content so it is not for children to read.


To the Sisters in the Stake,



I am writing to you as my sisters in this Stake. I wanted to share my experience with the hopes that it may help one of you who may face a similar situation. Let me start by saying I NEVER thought this would happen to me. I thought that this was the kind of thing that happened to other people and that I was immune to facing a trial like this. I was completely wrong. It can happen in any home.



The subject that I am addressing is one that most people are uncomfortable to discuss. It is pornography addiction (also called sexual addiction). Pornography addiction takes many forms – viewing pornographic magazines, viewing pornographic movies, looking at porn on the internet, chatting on-line, having inappropriate phone conversations and much more. There are many forms of pornography, but the path of destruction is all the same. This addiction leads to the destruction of souls, the destruction of marriages, the destruction of families. This pathway leads to adultery in some form as the addiction runs its course. I believe that this is one of Satan’s biggest tools and he is using this tool to destroy individuals and families.



My family has been under attack and we are fighting back.The process was a gradual one. For many years, I didn’t know my husband had a problem. It started with masturbation and then pornography was added in as time went on. He struggled on his own and I was completely oblivious. I don’t know if this was because I was just clueless or if it was because I didn’t see the truth because I didn’t want to see it. For years I had a slightly “off” feeling in my marriage. My marriage was generally happy with no obvious problems. We looked like an ideal couple to the outside world. Every once in a while I would just feel slightly uncomfortable. This carried on for many years. Then, I started feeling like there was a wall growing between my husband and me. It was nothing huge, just a lack of complete closeness. We’d talk and he’d say all the right things, so I talked myself in to thinking there wasn’t really a problem.



Then I started feeling like I couldn’t trust him completely. I didn’t trust that he would make good decisions. There were little clues to me that he wasn’t feeling the spirit and I felt like he wasn’t completely sincere when we’d pray together or have Family Night. His prayers just rang hollow to me even though he was saying the right things. I knew something was wrong, I just didn’t know what the problem was or how big it was. Then, as his problem began to totally take over, I noticed a bad feeling in our home and in my life. I was never completely happy and felt unsettled. I felt very lonely even though I had lots of friends. I also felt like my husband treated me like more of an object than a person. I felt like sex was something I owed him rather than something to share. It began to be much less appealing to me as he treated me more and more like an object. He would be angry and resentful if I said “no” so I said “yes” even when I didn’t want to be anywhere near him. I even reached the point where I wondered if something was wrong with me because I felt so uncomfortable.



My husband was very sneaky about his addiction. He didn’t want to risk losing me or his family by being caught. There was no history for me to find on our computer because he used the computer at work or when I was out of town or asleep and he deleted the history. He also made calls from work or from his cell phone so that I wouldn’t pick up on anything. I reached the point of such discomfort in my own home that I began to pray to Heavenly Father to know the truth. I prayed that He would let me know what was wrong in my home and what to do about it. He answered my prayers in a sure and certain way. I promise you that He will answer any of His children’s prayers when they seek to know the truth. Through this experience I have a sure knowledge that my Heavenly Father listens to each of our prayers. He knows each of our needs and all we need to do is ask Him for help and He will jump right in and help.



I confronted my husband and he didn’t tell me the truth. I knew the truth in my heart already and I told him that when he was prepared to tell me that I was prepared to hear the truth. A few days later he shared his struggles with me and pleaded for help. He was willing to work with our awesome bishop and do whatever it took to become clean again. He hated the double life he had been leading for so long and was relieved to have it out in the open. I felt like he now felt relief but that he had placed a huge burden onto me.



At first I said I just wanted to die because it hurt so badly. It felt like my worst nightmare had come true. I felt betrayed, angry and worried, but quickly I felt deeper peace with me and I knew that I would be okay. I knew my husband was in a dark place, but he wanted to improve so I was willing to help him. At times I felt hurt, overwhelmed and angry, but I knew in the eternal perspective that he was a child of God and that he was the father of my kids so I wanted to try my best to make things work. I figured maybe I could love him again someday after my heart healed. Since he was willing to repent, I was willing to hang in there with him and at least give him one chance.



We went to the Bishop’s office hand in hand. The bishop was kind and compassionate and told us that we could all work through this together. He did not act shocked, embarrassed, disappointed or mad, but rather he was full of love and desire to help us. The church leaders are prepared and willing to help because they know that this is a problem that is destroying families in and out of the church.



The Bishop also recommended additional tools such as an LDS therapist and the 12 Step program through LDS Family Services. Plus we had a small circle of friends and family who we confided in and who gave us support. We began to communicate better and share our struggles with each other rather than hiding our concerns. We began to work as a team. I came to realize what the real battle was about. This wasn’t my husband trying to destroy my life and hurt me. This battle was about Satan trying to destroy our eternal family.



Satan wants us to feel alone. He doesn’t want us to resolve these problems. He wants the person involved in sin to feel like they are all alone and unworthy. He wants the sin to be shrouded in secrecy. He wants us to be carnal not spiritual. Satan wants us to feel hopeless and sad and angry. But Heavenly Father and our Savior want us to be happy and they are stronger than the adversary.



There is a path to recovery. You can be happy even after facing a challenge of this magnitude. Today I can honestly say I am happier than ever. We have had bumps along the path of recovery and everything hasn’t been perfect or easy, but we have sorted our way through things as a team. The Plan of Salvation is clearer to me. The scriptures are more treasured. My prayers are more sincere and heartfelt. Our home feels pure and happy. I never thought I could be happy again, but I guess I didn’t really understand the Atonement. I am beginning to now. I also know that my husband and I can’t let our guard down spiritually for a minute or Satan will wedge his way back in to our lives.



If you think something may be wrong in your home or marriage, please don’t turn a blind eye. Talk to your husband. Be honest with your concerns. Tell him that if he has a problem now or ever does that you are willing to talk to him and work with him and that you won’t just leave. If you are struggling in this area, talk to your husband. Talk to the bishop. It is not a subject that should be avoided because it is embarrassing to discuss. Remember, we are all in this battle and Satan is a mean and sneaky adversary.Pornography is a problem that is plaguing our society. I, for one, want to stop Satan from destroying families. Since this has happened, we have found out that others in our circle of family and friends have struggled as well. A few of them have now set their lives right as well. It is a problem in society and it is a problem in this Church.



No one is safe from this. Don’t assume that this can’t happen to you. I believe that Satan works even harder on those with the most potential. I beg you to please be aware of this problem and don’t assume that “all is well.” We all need to fill our lives with the right things to protect ourselves – sincere prayer, scripture study, going to church, Family Night, temple attendance, etc. It sounds like the same old advice, but trust me, it works. Don’t be complacent spiritually because it is not worth the price you may pay.



Remember that you are never alone and even in your darkest moments, there is still hope for a brighter tomorrow and that this is all due to a loving Father and His son Jesus Christ. Things can be okay again.



Love, A Sister in the Stake

Lesson from a Milk Jug

How could I carry such an awful burden? The insight came in an unexpected way....

Life was starting to look better. Although the last few months had involved severe illness for our newborn baby, a bout with postpartum depression for me, and a sudden layoff for my husband, it seemed that our family was going to make it through the wave of trials we had encountered.

But that soon changed when I returned home from helping an ill sister in our ward to find my husband engrossed in filth on the Internet. I had returned earlier than he had expected, and he was caught off guard. I learned that this had been going on for years and that it had been accompanied by other serious sins.

I was devastated. The man I had kept myself clean and pure for all of my life had not done the same for me. My heart was broken.

I was empty. I was hurt. I was angry. When my husband went to the bishop and the stake president to begin the repentance process, I was embarrassed.

And then I became numb.

As a matter of routine, I continued to read scriptures with my children and by myself. I continued to have family prayer and family home evening and to say my personal prayers. But they were nothing more than habitual. There was nothing left inside me.

After a while, I became tired of being numb. I wanted to feel again. I wanted to be strong for my children. I wanted to love my husband. I wanted to forgive. I just didn’t know how. All the Relief Society and Sunday School lessons on forgiveness had not prepared me for this pain, and I didn’t know how to overcome it. But I was determined that I would.

Time went by, and despite my desire to forgive, I was still bitter. Then the simplest thing happened.

I was unloading the car after a trip to the grocery store, and our three-year-old daughter was helping. She was carrying in loaves of bread and cartons of eggs and was doing just fine. Then she decided that she was going to carry in a gallon of milk. After some struggle, she pulled it out of the car, and it landed with a thud on the driveway. She gripped the handle with both hands and heaved it. It barely budged. I offered to help, and she snapped at me: “No! I do it myself!” She strained and grunted but made no progress in lifting the milk. After several minutes she looked up at me with tears welling in her eyes and said, “Too heavy. Can’t do it.”

As I looked at my sweet, stubborn little girl, I saw in an instant what Heavenly Father must see in me—a well-meaning but stubborn child who wouldn’t accept His help. A scripture I had learned in seminary came to my mind:

“Behold, ye are little children and ye cannot bear all things now; ye must grow in grace and in the knowledge of the truth.

“Fear not, little children, for you are mine, and I have overcome the world, and you are of them that my Father hath given me;

“And none of them that my Father hath given me shall be lost” (D&C 50:40–42).

The significance of this is obvious, but the lesson became even more profound when my daughter’s eyes brightened and she said, “Mommy, you carry me; then I carry milk.” I scooped my little messenger up in my arms. I carried her, and leaning the jug against my arm, she carried the milk. In tears, I deposited my precious cargo inside.

Later, on my knees, I admitted to the Lord that my “jug of milk” was too heavy and that I had been proud in trying to carry it on my own. I asked forgiveness for my anger, my stubbornness, and my pride. I begged the Lord to carry me. I knew I was the one who needed to forgive, but the burden was too painful and too heavy. If the Lord would carry me, though, I could do what I needed to do. I begged Him to lift me, and He did. He helped me not only carry my burden but also cast it away.

Our trials have not all ended, but with Heavenly Father’s help, we will make it.

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