Talk - Our Own Personal 9/11 Experiences - "Face the Future with Faith"

When I realized that we’d be speaking on 9/11, at first I felt a little worried. But upon reflection, I saw how perfectly it related to our assigned topic.

I still remember that fateful Tuesday, September 11, 2001 when we first learned about the terrorist attacks. We lived in Northern California and our oldest child, Zach, was in kindergarten. Our alarm clock went off, in radio mode, and as I half consciously went to hit snooze, I heard something about a plane hitting the WTC. I jolted up in bed and turned on the TV. I called my parents and said, “Turn on the news.” My dad asked me what channel and I replied, “Any channel.” My heart sank even further as we learned more and more details about the tragedy and saw the second plane hit. At the time, Thane commuted to work in San Francisco on the BART public transit system, but he stayed home that day because we were afraid the bustling city of San Francisco could be a terrorist target too. When we took Zach to school, all us kindergarten parents stood around and talked about the horror of this event. We were all scared of what might come next. We were in mourning for all those who were suffering, dying, or losing loved ones. We were bound by a collective grief and fear. But I remember the unity I felt with my family, friends, neighbors, and fellow Americans.

As I was preparing for this talk, a realization came to me. Every one of us have “9/11 experiences” in our own lives. Some of us may have health challenges. Some deal with wayward children. Others deal with divorce, death, unemployment, addictions. The point is, we all have challenges.

When dealing with these personal 9/11 experiences, there is a difference from the day the world stood still for all of us together as we faced a common tragedy. In our personal 9/11 moments, we may feel very alone in our fear and sadness, we may feel embarrassed, abandoned, downtrodden, worried, and scared.

Quote on Atonement

The other day we had the most amazing thunder and lightening storm. The power that I saw unleashed reminded me that we really aren't in control. It made me realize how powerless we truly are and caused me to reflect on the love and patience that our Heavenly Father has for us. He allows us the agency to make mistakes and doesn't interfere and take away those learning moments and growth. He is patient with us when we think we have all the answers ourselves and we forget how much we fall short and how much we need our Savior. He watches us do stupid things and loves us still the same. I want to keep an eternal perspective and I want to be a parent like that.

As I read this quote this morning, I thought about my gratitude for a loving Heavenly Father who allowed His Son to suffer and die for each of us. I am grateful that our Savior, Jesus Christ, was willing and able to make this sacrifice and save us from sin and death.

“In that hour I think I can see our dear Father behind the veil looking upon these dying struggles until even he could not endure it any longer; and, like the mother who bids farewell to her dying child, has to be taken out of the room, so as not to look upon the last struggles, so he bowed his head, and hid in some part of his universe, his great heart almost breaking for the love that he had for his Son. Oh, in that moment when he might have saved his Son, I thank him and praise him that he did not fail us, for he had not only the love of his Son in mind, but he also had love for us. I rejoice that he did not interfere, and that his love for us made it possible for him to endure to look upon the sufferings of his Son and give him finally to us, our Savior and our Redeemer. Without him, without his sacrifice, we would have remained, and we would never have come glorified into his presence. And so this is what it cost, in part, for our Father in Heaven to give the gift of his Son unto men” (Melvin J. Ballard, Sermons and Missionary Services of Melvin Joseph Ballard, comp. Bryant S. Hinckley [Salt Lake City: Deseret Book Co., 1949], pp. 153-55).

In Memory of Abby

This is a beautiful poem written by my friend Jennifer. Her precious little Abby returned to live with Heavenly Father a few months after she wrote this poem. Abby was born a few months before Jonah and she passed away on her second Thanksgiving day. Every Thanksgiving Day I look at my sweet little Jonah and think of Abby and how big she would have been had she lived. My heart aches when I think of her sudden sickness and death, but I know that she will someday be reunited with her family. Abby's parents (and grandparents) are some of the spiritually strongest people I have met and their testimonies of the Savior and His Atonement are stronger than ever. This poem was included on her funeral program. I think most mothers will relate to the tender feelings during moments alone with our babies and how quickly the time passes.

For Abby
September 29, 2003
Tonight I rocked and held you close,
My precious little daughter,
Unwilling to let go this day,
Of baby loves and infant ways,
I pressed your cheek against my face
As smooth as clay to potter.
Tonight our breath was sweet and slow,
My sweetest little angel,
Mine fell low and yours fell light -
Music in the gentle night,
Up and down and eyes shut tight
As rhythmic as if rain fell.
Tonight I wished for nothing else
My darling dearest child,
Than that which I held close to me -
Your cuddly warmth in slumber deep,
This happy hour when clock hands sleep,
Our mother-daughter reverie
As we our heaven styled.
Jennifer Ferre