Talk - Follow the Prophet

One of my favorite characters in the Harry Potter series is Dumbledore. He is wise, calm and often times can be found encouraging and counseling the Hogwarts students, especially Harry. On one occasion he says, “dark and difficult times lie ahead, soon we must all face the choice, between what is right and what is easy.”

We know and have seen many dark and difficult times during our life. Perhaps it was last week with terror acts, perhaps it was yesterday with a family member, perhaps it was over the past few years with wars and natural disasters. And what Dumbledore said was key, because we all have the choice to choose between what is right and what is easy.

It has never been entirely easy to follow the Prophet but we know it is right. Let’s take for example a few stories from the scriptures. Noah, a Prophet called of God to preach repentance to the people was met with ridicule, death threats and mockery. God, using his Prophet tried to preserve not only the temporal life but spiritual life of the people, but they would not listen. Why? Was it just plain easier to follow the crowd rather than follow the right? And, I have to wonder if there were times when Noah thought that too? But rather than giving into the easy, he put his complete trust in God and built the ark and gathered the animals and provisions even on the driest of days. And this is the best part – he and his family were blessed because they put their trust in God and in the Prophet. President Eyring teaches, “The failure to take prophetic counsel lessens our power to take inspired counsel in the future. The best time to have decided to help Noah build the ark was the first time he asked. Each time he asked after that, each failure to respond would have lessened sensitivity to the Spirit. And so each time his request would have seemed more foolish, until the rain came. And then it was too late.

Flecks of Gold = Great Wealth

This is a wonderful story about a young merchant who was caught up in the Gold Rush in the 1850's. He was discouraged when he didn't find large nuggets of gold as he panned and searched.  He overlooked the small flecks of gold that didn't seem worth his time.  He envied a nearby old prospector and his full pouch of gold.  Imagine the young man's surprise when the prospector showed him that his bag was full of small flecks, not nuggets.  He said, "The patient accumulation of these little flecks has brought me great wealth."

I love this analogy and  I agree that by small and simple things great blessings are brought to pass.

Elder M. Russell Ballard shares:
"The Gospel of Jesus Christ is simple. Like the small flecks of gold that accumulate over time into a large treasure, our small and simple acts of kindness and service will accumulate into a life filled with love for Heavenly Father, devotion to the work of the Lord Jesus Christ, and a sense of peace and joy."

Baptism Talk with Kit Kat Reminder

This afternoon I am speaking at the baptism of a sweet nine-year old son who was just adopted into our friends' family.  They asked me to speak at his baptism this afternoon so I wrote this talk this morning.  Our main audience will be children so I know this object lesson will hold their attention and that they'll remember what is said.  Feel free to use this talk.  By the way, I didn't think of the concept of using the Kit Kat, it is "out there" on Pinterest.  I just made the graphics and wrote the talk which was inspired by the Pinterest pins.

There are links listed to access these graphics in PDF format.  PS My son with a sweet tooth will be thrilled with the handouts ;)

This poster can be placed by a basket of Kit Kat's as handouts for after the baptism.  Click HERE to get the PDF.

These signs can be used during the talk as visual reminders to hold the kids' attention.  Depending on your stake, you may or may not be allowed to use visual aids during your talk.  Click HERE to get these pages in PDF format.

These are little handouts that can be printed on a sheet of cardstock at home and then attached to Kit Kat bars.  Click HERE to get the PDF.

Here's the actual talk (feel free to cut, paste and edit if desired):

Do you know that you are just about to participate in your very first saving ordinance and make your very first official promise to Heavenly Father?

Today when you are baptized you will make some promises to your Heavenly Father.

See this Kit Kat bar?  It may look like an ordinary candy but it is a symbol that will help you remember your baptism covenants.

K is for KEEP HIS COMMANDMENTS. 

When you are baptized, you promise to do your best to follow Jesus and keep all of His commandments.   When you make a mistake, you repent and try to do better.

General Relief Society Broadcast 2013

I absolutely loved watching this broadcast on TV tonight.  All the talks were awesome but my favorite talk was given by Sister Linda Reeves at about 40 minutes into the video.  She spoke about enduring adversity and having faith through our afflictions.

The analogy she gave about the Provo Tabernacle (about 46 minutes into the video).  About three years ago, the Provo Tabernacle had a terrible fire that gutted the interior of that building.  Many wondered why the Lord would let this happen.  Ten months later, President Monson announced that that nearly destroyed tabernacle would be the sight of a new temple.  Suddenly we could see what the Lord had always known.  He didn't cause the fire, but he allowed the fire to strip away the interior.  The Lord allows us to be tried and tested.  When we feel like our lives have been burned to the ground, we should remember that God doesn't leave us in the ashes.  He's building our lives into magnificent temples.  This spoke to my heart and I will try to remember this when I am in the midst of a figurative fire.  Heavenly Father and Jesus Christ will help me become something better than I am and better than I can even hope to be.

Primary Lesson 19, Manual 5 - "The Saints Are Taught to Recognize Good and Evil"

Here's my handout for church this Sunday to go with Lesson 19 .  I'm posting it on Friday instead of waiting until Saturday night or Sunday morning LOL.

This is an object lesson that I will be using.  The basic idea of it is from the manual but I added the questions/examples in the beginning and also changed some of the wording so that my younger kids could better understand.

Which would you rather have— an imitation item or the real thing?

Would you rather have a cheap fake flower or a beautiful fresh rose? Would you rather have a valuable diamond ring or a fake ring that will fall apart soon? Would you rather snack on a real apple or a plastic one? Would you rather have a true friend or a person who pretends to be your friend?

Imitations are often of poorer quality or less value than the real things they imitate.  Satan is a counterfeiter. He tries to deceive us with bad imitations of good things Heavenly Father and Jesus Christ have given us. He does this because he wants us to follow him instead of Heavenly Father and Jesus.

Article - The Contagion Called Pornography

I saw this great article entitle The Contagion Called Pornography on The United Families International Blog.  It really is a plague that is affecting individuals and families in all nations.  Here is one analogy I liked from the article.  I know that some people are uncomfortable even discussing this, but if we are going to fight this contagion, we need to acknowledge that it is a huge problem and fight it.

"Years ago I heard a morality tale about a young man at the top of a mountain. As he descended the mountain, he noticed a rattlesnake curled on a warm rock. The snake spoke to him and asked him to  carry him to the bottom of the mountain. The young man was hesitant, “But you’re a rattlesnake. You might bite me and I would die.” “I promise I will not bite you. Please just carry me down.” The young man conceded to the request and carried the snake down the mountain. As he put the snake down, it bit him on the hand. “Why did you do that?! Why did you bite me? You promised you wouldn’t!” The snake then replied, “You knew what I was when you picked me up.”...As I said before, do not touch pornography. Don’t think that viewing it one time for kicks or out of curiosity will be a harmless thing to do. Think of the snake. Don’t pick it up. Don’t touch it. It is a damning practice in every way, meant to destroy the beautiful spirits of men and women by debasing them into objects of lust. It only harms. It is the most fatal poison to a normal mind in the way it warps and twists what is beautiful, meaningful and miraculous: the human body and the act of intimacy between a married couple."

Talk - Our Own Personal 9/11 Experiences - "Face the Future with Faith"

When I realized that we’d be speaking on 9/11, at first I felt a little worried. But upon reflection, I saw how perfectly it related to our assigned topic.

I still remember that fateful Tuesday, September 11, 2001 when we first learned about the terrorist attacks. We lived in Northern California and our oldest child, Zach, was in kindergarten. Our alarm clock went off, in radio mode, and as I half consciously went to hit snooze, I heard something about a plane hitting the WTC. I jolted up in bed and turned on the TV. I called my parents and said, “Turn on the news.” My dad asked me what channel and I replied, “Any channel.” My heart sank even further as we learned more and more details about the tragedy and saw the second plane hit. At the time, Thane commuted to work in San Francisco on the BART public transit system, but he stayed home that day because we were afraid the bustling city of San Francisco could be a terrorist target too. When we took Zach to school, all us kindergarten parents stood around and talked about the horror of this event. We were all scared of what might come next. We were in mourning for all those who were suffering, dying, or losing loved ones. We were bound by a collective grief and fear. But I remember the unity I felt with my family, friends, neighbors, and fellow Americans.

As I was preparing for this talk, a realization came to me. Every one of us have “9/11 experiences” in our own lives. Some of us may have health challenges. Some deal with wayward children. Others deal with divorce, death, unemployment, addictions. The point is, we all have challenges.

When dealing with these personal 9/11 experiences, there is a difference from the day the world stood still for all of us together as we faced a common tragedy. In our personal 9/11 moments, we may feel very alone in our fear and sadness, we may feel embarrassed, abandoned, downtrodden, worried, and scared.

Parable - The Wolf You Feed

The Wolf You Feed

An elder Native American was teaching his grandchildren about life. He said to them, "A fight is going on inside me… it is a terrible fight and it is between two wolves. One wolf represents fear, anger, envy, sorrow, regret, greed, arrogance, self-pity, guilt, resentment, inferiority, lies, false pride, superiority, and ego.

The other stands for joy, peace, love, hope, sharing, serenity, humility, kindness, benevolence, friendship, empathy, generosity, truth, compassion, and faith."

"This same fight is going on inside you, and inside every other person, too", he added.

The Grandchildren thought about it for a minute and then one child asked his grandfather, "Which wolf will win?"

The old Cherokee simply replied... "The one you feed."

Unhappy Consequences of Dialing 912

In the midst of our Super Bowl party yesterday, I received a phone call from the police department.  They asked me if I had dialed 911 and if I had an emergency.  Of course I hadn't called the police, but I had a sneaking suspicion that one of the dozen neighbor kids playing in our backyard had goofed around and dialed it on our outdoor phone.

I went outside and hollered, "Who dialed 911!?"  In unison all the boys said my youngest son's name.  I brought him into the house to discuss it.  His defense?  "I dialed 912!" which made all the adults burst out laughing.  We thought he must be trying to cover his tracks and stay out of trouble.

Cock-a-doodle-doo Moments in Life

I attended a field trip with my son to the Renaissance Festival a few months ago as a chaperone. I told him he could have a little money to buy a fun snack or a souvenir. Most of his friends bought things like whistles, crafts or junky fair food. What did my son choose? A live chicken!

I'd secretly wanted to raise chickens so I agreed to let him buy it. We gave the guy at the petting zoo area $5.00 and he in turn handed us a small chicken in a box. Since we'd taken the school bus to the festival, I was forced to smuggle our new fowl home. After all, the school district had simply said, "No weapons" on the bus. They hadn't mentioned anything about livestock. The students and teachers all knew about our little chicken smuggling escapade, but they kept quiet as we rode home with me sitting directly behind the innocent bus driver. My theory is that the students were happy to be in on a secret mission which involved an adult pushing the limits in regards to school rules.

Scorpions - An Analogy

This summer we discovered something horrible. We have scorpions in our yard! Check out this picture we took one night of a scorpion eating his dinner (a bug) on the side of our home.

At any rate, my mind often discovers analogies in everyday situations and challenges. So finding this horrible little creature in my yard, I figured I'd better come up with some sort of analogy and learning experience at least!

Here's my analogy if you can follow my rambling thoughts....

Although we live in the desert, we have never had scorpions. We know they are "out there" and we know other people's families have had to deal with the issue of scorpions, but luckily we felt we were immuned to these sorts of troubles. We felt bad for those families who had to battle the scorpion problem and we never imagined that a challenge like that would ever happen to us. But the reality was, we did have scorpions, but whether they were new to our property or had been in hiding, we had to face the hard truth that we were not immuned to troubles. Our family was in danger of being poisoned and we needed to be vigilant about destroying the scorpions. First step was taking away their food source (bugs) by hiring an exterminator to spray on a regular basis. Next step, a daily regiment of going outside with a blacklight to find the critters and crush them. Sometimes with the bottom of a shoe, sometimes with a hammer, sometimes with a blow torch or if needed, with bug spray. Also, instead of being embarrassed about having scorpions, we decided to talk to our friends and neighbors about our challenge. Turns out they had scorpions too.

This is like life. None of us are immuned to problems, adversity, challenges, temptations and struggles. We cannot look at others who struggle and say, "I'm sure glad WE don't have problems like that." We we ALL have adversity in our lives (whether caused by external or internal matters). Just like the scorpions were trying to invade our yard and possibly harm our family, Satan is trying to infiltrate our family and home and destroy us. To protect our home/family, we need to fill our home with good things and work out all the bugs. We put filters on the computer, don't watch inappropriate movies/TV shows, be careful on our music choices, obey the Word of Wisdom, etc. We have "scorpion hunt" daily to get rid of the scorpions. Similarly, in life, we need to repent daily as we make mistakes, pray individually and as families, study the scriptures and keep the commandments. Doing these things every once in a while will not give us much strength as keeping on top of these things daily (just like killing the scorpions every week or month won't help much). Also, when we struggle with weaknesses, temptations, challenges, problems, etc., rather than pretending like life is perfect, we can share our struggles with trustworthy friends/family who can help us and support us. Chances are they can relate and want to help.

Now I can honestly say I am grateful to have those scorpions. Every night as I hunt them down and squash them, I am reminded about protecting myself and my family from the adversary, and I realize that acknowledging problems and facing them head-on (with a hammer in hand figuratively), is the first step in fighting the battle.

Analogy - Shopping at Ikea and Studying the Scriptures

We had a fun Sunday School lesson today. It was about Section 1 in the Doctrine & Covenants. The Doctrine and Covenants is the only book of scripture that has an introduction written by the Lord. We read and discussed that for our lesson today.

In D&C 1:37 it says, "Search these commandments..." This prompted a discussion on the difference between reading the scriptures and searching the scriptures.

Someone likened searching the scriptures to shopping at Ikea. Anyone who has been brave enough to shop at Ikea knows that it can be an overwhelming experience. Your journey feels like miles of arrowed pathways leading you from room display to room display. You weave through perfectly decorated living rooms, kitchens, offices, bedrooms, etc. There is so much to observe that even though you are looking around at everything you actually remember very little of the details. You may walk out with some random finds (like some spatulas, storage containers, a frying pan and plastic children's furniture), but usually you leave feeling overwhelmed and in a semi-stuperous state.

Wandering through Ikea is like casually wandering/reading through the scriptures with no purpose. It is a fine thing to do, but leaves you feeling unsatisfied afterward. However, if you go to Ikea searching for something specific, like let's say, a bed, you are more likely to find what you need/want on your journey. You can search through Ikea to find that which is of worth and applicable to you in your current situation. Sometimes you may be looking for a bed, other times a chair or a blanket, but as you search, you will find what you truly need instead of a bunch of sensory overload.

Another person furthered the Ikea analogy. When you arrive at Ikea, you immediately go up the escalator to the second floor and wander through all the displays to find items you need/want. This is like the initial searching in the scriptures for answers. Then, after you find your item of interest, you have to go downstairs to the warehouse to further search for the bin and aisle numbers that house your item. When we read the scriptures often times we must delve even deeper or search further to receive the answers/item we are searching just like we need to search more diligently at Ikea for our boxes of product.

The last person said that their favorite part of shopping at Ikea was the cinnamon rolls at the snack bar. You can't shop at the snack bar until you have finished your shopping experience. Likewise, we can receive our full reward after we have searched and re-searched the scriptures diligently.

As we visit and revisit the scriptures (or Ikea) we will find answers (or items) that we are searching for. There will be many rewards (or cinnamon rolls) that we will obtain as we search and study (or shop).

I got a kick out of the whole conversation and it actually made a lot of sense. I think I'll remember this Ikea analogy this week during my personal scripture studying (and you bet I'll be searching for my "cinnamon roll" at the end of the week!).

Talk - Forgiveness

Forgiveness Talk –

I was asked to talk about Forgiveness today. I decided that there were 3 aspects that I would like to concentrate on –
1) Seeking forgiveness for our mistakes and sins
2) Forgiving ourselves
3) Forgiving others

Seeking forgiveness for our mistakes
Something we all share is our need to repent and be forgiven on a very regular basis. Each of us has come to earth to receive a physical body and gain earthly experience to progress toward perfection and ultimately realize our divine nature and destiny. We all make mistakes and have weaknesses and trials and adversity. That is why we are here – to learn and grow from these experiences.

I want to share two of my favorite scriptures:

Mosiah 3:19 – “For the natural man is an enemy to God, and has been from the fall of Adam, and will be, forever and ever, unless he yields to the enticings of the Holy Spirit, and putteth off the natural man and becometh a saint through the atonement of Christ the Lord, and becometh as a child, submissive, meek, humble, patient, full of love, willing to submit to all things which the Lord seeth fit to inflict upon him, even as a child doth submit to his father.”

2 Nephi 9:39 – “O, my beloved brethren, remember the awfulness in transgressing against that Holy God, and also the awfulness of yielding to the enticings of that cunning one. Remember, to be carnally-minded is death, and to be spiritually-minded is life eternal.”

As I have pondered these scriptures, I realize that left to my own devices, I am a natural man, with carnal nature. Carnal is defined in the dictionary as “earthly or temporal.” This means that each of us should be actively trying to put off the natural man and our desire to seek after earthly things, and instead be willing and desirous to become like a little child and concentrate on our spiritual growth. In my mind, sometimes I feel like in the eternal realm I am like a stubborn teenager by nature distracted by things of the world and I have to make a real effort to be humble and submissive like a little child and to concentrate on what matters most (no offense to the great teens here!).

When I think of Nephi, I imagine a man who was strong and righteous. It is hard to imagine that he ever struggled in his own soul. But in 2 Nephi 4 he exclaims “O wretched man that I am! Yea, my heart sorroweth because of my flesh; my soul grieveth because of mine iniquities. I am encompassed about, because of the temptations and the sins which do so easily best me.” Even Nephi struggles with being a “natural man.” This is a great example to me. Temptations will always abound, but with the Lord as our teammate, we can learn to resist them.

Nephi begs, “O Lord, wilt thou redeem my soul? Wilt thou make me that I may shake at the appearance of sin?” Nephi was pleading for a change of heart. This can only be accomplished by allowing the Lord to change us It is important that we are willing to have our hearts softened and that we recognize that we do not have the power to resist temptations on our own. If we could do it on our own, we would have no need for a Savior.

Many of us have probably seen the picture of “Christ Knocking at the Door.” This picture was painted by Holman Hunt who was trying to make an image of the following scripture in the Book of Revelation (chapter 3 verse 20)
“Behold, I stand at the door, and knock: if any man hear my voice, and open the door, I will come in to him, and will sup with him, and he with me.”

The artist was showing the picture to a friend and the friend noted that there was one thing wrong with the picture – the door on which Jesus knocks has no handle. Mr. Hunt responded, “That is not a mistake. You see, this is the door to the human heart. It can only be opened from the inside.” This is so true! Jesus may stand and knock, but each of us decides whether to open. The Lord will not force us to take action. He knows exactly what we need and is just waiting for us to ask Him for guidance and help. He doesn’t want to interfere with our own agency though. We must each take our own initiative and have the desire to repent and take steps toward receiving forgiveness and to try to live the commandments.

President Benson once said “God changes men from the inside out.” We need to be willing to have a change of heart and to correct things in our lives that are contrary to the Lord’s way. We need to humbly ask for His guidance all the time.

I read the following quote in the book “The Miracle of Forgiveness.”
“A fellow who is planning to reform is one step behind. He ought to quit planning and get on with the job. Today is the day.”

Often people may feel that they have fallen so far that there is no hope for them.

A wise bishop once said – “Satan is the sneakiest opponent you’ll ever face and he doesn’t play fair!” He wants us to feel hopeless and bad about ourselves. The Lord doesn’t expect us to be perfect in a day. He wants us to have hope throughout the whole repentance process slow as it may be.

“Men do not suddenly become righteous any more than a tiny acorn suddenly becomes an oak.”

I love this analogy that I received from one of the Priesthood leaders. When you are trying to repent and make adjustments in your life, it is like flying an airplane. The most important factor is the direction your airplane’s nose is tilted, upward or downward. As long as you are tilted upward, you are on the right path. Don’t be so worried about being perfect that you try to change your direction from a downward path to going straight up in the air. You will eventually crash the plane. Just concentrate on keeping the airplane headed the right direction and you will continue to progress and improve your life.

True repentance isn’t just turning away from sin. It involves turning to God. I imagine it like this. As we repent we get rid of the sins we are holding inside that were taking up space. When the sins and bad habits are removed, there is an empty space left. It is important to fill that empty space up with spiritual things like prayer, scripture study, good books, activity in the church, uplifting friendships, etc. so that the sins don’t sneak back in.

President Benson said “If you will put God first in your life, everything else will either fall into its proper place or drop out of your life entirely.” He also said “Our love of the Lord must govern the claims for our affection, the demands on our time, the interests we pursue, and the order of our priorities.”

There are many great examples in the scriptures of men who have received forgiveness from the Lord. Two of my favorites are Alma and Enos.

Alma the Younger was so rebellious and fought against the Lord. Alma the Younger’s father, Alma prayed for him to come to a knowledge of the truth. Alma was visited by an angel and fell to the earth as if he were dead for three days. During this time he said he “racked with eternal torment for my soul was harrowed up to the greatest degree and racked with all my sins.” He continued “Oh, thought I, that I could be banished and become extinct both soul and body, that I might not be brought to stand in the presence of my God, to be judged of my deeds.” I am sure many of us can relate to this feeling. Then Alma remembered that he had heard his dad talk about “one Jesus Christ” who would atone for the sins of the world. Alma’s mind caught hold upon this thought and he cried within his heart “O Jesus, thou Son or God, have mercy on me, who am in the gall of bitterness, and am encircled about by the everlasting chains of death.” Then the scripture goes on to say “And now, behold, when I thought of this, I could remember my pains no more; yea, I was harrowed up by the memory of my sins no more. And oh, what joy, and what marvelous light I did behold; yea my soul was filled with joy as exceeding was my pain!” Alma didn’t become this perfect person instantly, but he had a true change of heart and started down a new path.

Enos is another of my favorites. The whole book of Enos is less than 3 pages, but it is powerful. Enos had been taught about eternal life and the joy of righteousness by his father, but he was rebellious. He writes “I will tell you of the wrestle which I had before God, before I had a remission of my sins.” Enos went to the forests to hunt. His soul hungered which I take to mean that his soul had unrest. He prayed all day and night for his own soul and then a voice came to him saying “Enos, thy sins are forgiven thee, and thou shalt be blessed.” Then Enos showed his strong testimony of the Atonement by saying “And I, Enos, knew that God could not lie; wherefore, my guilt was swept away.” Then the Lord tells Enos that his faith had made him whole. I have faith that each of us can also be made whole through the Atonement of Jesus Christ.
The Lord also said in Mosiah 26:30 – “Yea, and as often as my people repent will I forgive them their trespasses against me.”

These stories show me that Heavenly Father and Jesus Christ do indeed keep their promises (like we are learning in Primary this year).

When I was a freshman in college my grandma sent me a letter in which she told me to remember the scripture, “Wickedness never was happiness.” (Alma 41:10). This stuck in my mind as I lived away from home for the first time and was around kids who were making poor choices with their new freedom away from home. I came to realize that repenting of our sins brings happiness and peace and that indulging in wickedness brings grief and turmoil. When I have quiet moments to think and reflect, I know in my soul if my life is what I want it to be or if I need to make changes in areas. When I am weighed down with something I ask the Lord promptly for forgiveness so I can have peace again in my own soul. (Peace Barometer)

Forgiving ourselves
Turn the corner – Once we have had a change of heart and are working the steps of repentance and are willing to let the Lord help us, it is important to look forward, not backward. Sheri Dew gave a great talk when I went to Time Out for Women last month with my mom. She likened having a change of heart to turning a corner. Once we have turned a corner, we need to keep looking forward and walking down the street. If we continue to walk back to the corner and peek around it, dwelling on how we were and the mistakes we’ve made, then we do not progress and move forward. It was a really good image to me and as I reflect on my mistakes each day and repent, I try to remember to truly turn the corner and to realize that the Lord is helping me walk down the right path.

Lots of us hold on to guilt even after we have prayed for forgiveness. What is the purpose of guilt? – Guilt is meant to be a warning signal to us – like the smoke alarm in our home. One quick “beep” of its piercing influence is all Heavenly Father meant us to have to bear. In my opinion, if I continue to harbor guilt it is almost a form of blasphemy. It is as if I would be saying that I do not accept the Atonement of Jesus Christ.

Satan is author of unhealthy guilt. He wants you to feel hopeless, alone, unforgiven. The Lord has promised us that we are not alone. We can be forgiven, no matter to what depths we have fallen.

“Come now, and let us reason together, saith the Lord: Though your sins be as scarlet, they shall be as white as snow: though they be red like crimson, they shall be as wool. (Isaiah 1:18)

This applies to everyone! What a burden taken off our backs when we realize we can completely be clean again. Heavenly Father and our Savior want us to feel hopeful and peaceful. The adversary wants us to feel hopeless and impure.


Forgiving others
I must need lots of work in this area because I keep re-learning this lesson over and over again. When I feel I am wronged I get an intense anger inside that I tend to dwell on if left to myself. I am very conscious of this weakness in myself and am constantly asking the Lord to help me in these situations. You cannot feel the spirit and feel angry simultaneously.

A story that reminds me of the importance of forgiving quickly is this one:
A woman was patiently waiting in the mall parking lot for a parking spot with her blinker on. Someone else drove up at the last minute and stole her parking spot and then proceeded to obliviously and happily go on with their shopping. The wronged party continued to stew and fume and damage herself by holding on to the anger for the rest of the day. I made the decision that I do not want to be the person who holds on to anger and who damages herself.

The Chinese philosopher Confucius said, “To be wronged or robbed is nothing unless you continue to remember it.”

Losing the parking spot was not a big deal, but the damage from the continued anger was in this story. Most of us will have situations that will be far more challenging than just losing a parking spot, but the same principles apply.

One common misconception is that in order to forgive someone who has wronged you the offender must first apologize and humble himself before you. But we must forgive the offender regardless of his attitude. President Joseph F. Smith said “It is extremely hurtful for any man holding the gift of the Holy Ghost to harbor a spirit of envy or malice, or retaliations or intolerance toward or against his fellow man. We ought to say in our hearts, ‘Let God judge between me and thee, but for me, I will forgive.’”

I was loading the dishwasher this week and dropped a little child’s sippy cup insert from the top tray. I went to look for it on the bottom shelf and could not see it. I looked and looked and could not find it. I decided to try looking at it from another angle, took a step around to the other side and saw it immediately. This reminded me of forgiveness. Oftentimes when we are involved in a disagreement or have contention with someone, we only look at the situation from our perspective. If we can just take a step and imagine how the other person might perceive the situation, then that will be a good step toward resolving things and restoring harmony. When we strive to have charity and empathy, it is almost impossible to be unforgiving. I only wish I could have the perspective the Lord has.

In closing I want to bear testimony to you that I know each of us can be forgiven of all of our sins. Ours is a gospel of HOPE, not of hopelessness. The Lord understands us and loves us and wants to help us in all the areas of our lives. With the Lord’s help we can also learn to forgive ourselves and forgive others. He has not left us alone and he will help us every step of the way through this process.